The Lunacy of Aquaria
by Corad and Bijoux
Summary: While Fayt and Co. are off saving the galaxy, Magistrate Lasselle is struggling to save his own sanity…and who on Earth left Adray behind? Rated for Magistrate Lasselle bashing.
1. Chapter 1

**Corad: Ok, this is my first Star Ocean pointless fic. My sister Bijoux has already written one though...but um...yeah...this was inspired by something which I forget what it actually was, but it's just random idiocy involving a certain Queen, Magistrate and Adray. Please enjoy it somehow...  
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**I don't own Star Ocean and I never will...that's probably a good thing too...

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**Robelchia**

The throne room was calm and peaceful, like everyday. The Queen Romeria sat in the throne; her hands lay on her lap, her face staring in utter boredom towards the back end of the large room. And Magistrate Lasselle stood beside her, his eyes narrow slits and sulking for the queen had just in fact, told him to shut up. How was he meant to know the queen fancied that Fayt boy? If he were queen…errr, I mean King, he would have handed that blue haired troublemaker over instantly to the vendeeni forces, allowing his peace to prevail on. But no, Mrs. "I own the Royal City and everything in it, including you, so shut your big ugly trap hole now before I set my Guards on you!" refused and on top of that, made truce to that Airyglyph scum!

Lasselle kept pondering over these "innocent" thoughts, thinking how wrong it was to join forces with someone who couldn't even bath themselves if their life depended on it. He worried if the Queen had become corrupted in her power, and eyed her wearily from where he stood. But she just continued to sit there in silence, a blank expression on her face. Come _on_, what was her deal? Why did she want to save that Fayt boy, when she should have saved her dignity and left the war going? It was all a mystery to the Magistrate, and was only proving to get worse.

"Ah, Sir Adray. Glad you could come. Have you finished you mission in the East?" the Queen happily called out across the throne room. Her face looked delighted at Adray's return, and Lasselle started wondering what that old man had that he didn't. It was beginning to bug him, and he demanded an answer. His twitching left eye indicated that.

"Well, somebody sent me on a pointless mission, again, to God knows where. Your Magistrate needs to learn the difference between something of importance, and something which isn't worth the time and effort," Adray said angrily, finally reaching the throne room and standing at the foot of the stairs. Lasselle turned an angry, angry face to the grey haired man, his arms shaking in rage.

"I do not send you on pointless missions! Do not accuse me of such things!" he cried back, pointing a "threatening" finger at Adray. This caused Adray to increase his own personal rage, and stormed up the stairs, stopping mere inches from Lasselle's cowering form.

"That mission! That mission to find the cause of the disappearing gold coins, was pointless! P, O, I, N, T, L, E, S, S! On top of searching the entire kingdom, asking old, defenseless citizens who the heck is stealing all the cash, it turned out to be sissy pixies, which even you would be able to handle!" Adray shouted, prodding a finger in Lasselle's chest.

"Now cease here! That money belonged to the town, so if any pixies are to steal it, they must be punished!" Lasselle boomed after him, shoving Adray back in a feeble attempt. Adray snarled and got the magistrate in a headlock, giving him a noogie.

"After annihilating the entire pixie population in the East, I soon discovered on my way back, the money belonged to the Pixies! The town is to blame!" Adray shouted, strangling Lasselle even more now. The magistrate began whimpering, trying to shove those bulky arms off him. The fight would have continued on, if it hadn't had been for the Queen, glaring at their struggling position beside her, and shouted out. Her loud, murderous voice rang around, and eventually exited out the two large doors at the end, a whole party of Runologists screaming as a result.

"NOW STOP THIS NOW! Two grown men, squabbling like a pack of school children," the queen began, but Adray cut her off.

"Hey, Lasselle never graduated, so technically he is still a school child!" he laughed, enjoying his insult as Lasselle shook under his arm, rage building up again. Romeria growled in irritation, before continuing on her explanation of why their "fighting" was wrong.

"Lasselle, I demand you go back to school and graduate. I cannot have a Magistrate who hasn't officially completed their schooling."

"But my Queen! I have finished! I finished years ago, remember! You were there in the crowd, looking blank and bored than ever!" Lasselle protested, turning a flushed face to his queen. Romeria cast a brief gaze over him, and looked away instantly.

"Be that as it may Lasselle, you are still bickering like a child." Yes, it was true…. but so was the big oaf holding him in a headlock!

"My Queen, please tell this…beast to let go. I'm finding it significantly harder to breath," Lasselle pointed out after Romeria had failed to stop their rioting. Adray laughed again, ruffling up his hair and pulling strands out of his wrapped ponytail. Another twitch of the eye on Lasselle's behalf, but Romeria still sat in silence.

"My Queen?"

"Ah shut it Lasselle! She's not _your_ Queen! She's everybody's queen!" Adray growled, shoving the Magistrate away from him forcefully. Lasselle hadn't expected to get away so easily, and was unprepared as he toppled onto his backside.

"School children must be punished! Unless you redeem yourselves now," Romeria hissed, eyes turned to small slits as her own temper began to rise. She was the queen. The one in complete power and control, and if she wanted two idiots to shut up, then she'd get her way no matter what. "Another word from any of you, and you're fired!"

Those last words hit home. Ringing in a repetitive state around his head, Lasselle clambered to his feet and inched his way over to the throne. "You don't mean that, my Queen? Really, he started it!" he began to protest again, but the death glare Romeria shot at him made him retreat a few steps back.

"Now, silence is the key to virtue. Patience Lasselle," she continued in a mystified voice, her red eyes looking back to the far end of the room. Adray stood still for the first time in his life. He wanted to insult the shrimpy Magistrate further, but after hearing the Queen's words, summarized into "If you piss me off, you're fired" for easy understanding, made him reconsider. It wouldn't really matter if he was fired here and now, coz he knew the Queen would come crawling back. Or she would send Lasselle to come crawling back for her. But the Magistrate on the other hand. Adray guessed he had some infatuation over her or something that she didn't know about.

So an endless amount of time passed in silence, no one dared make a sound or even move. There had only been one other time the Queen had been this mad, and the poor innocent Peterny folk never spoke of that incident again. They'd been scarred for life seeing their very own Queen run through the town screaming in like a raving lunatic, flailing her arms about. When further questioned over the incident, the Queen always denied everything, as if she didn't remember doing it. Unless the "queen" was really Lasselle…. dressed like the "Queen"…

The intense silence was beginning to get to Adray though. Sure, he'd managed to stay civil for about 5 minutes but now it was getting too much. There was a perfectly good opportunity before him to harass the Magistrate stupid, without the fear of him fighting back. He could just see it now, the Queen screaming in slow motion that Lasselle was fired and watching as the grown man broke down in tears…also in slow motion. He was contemplating saying something, when a loud, echoing, roaring noise flooded into the room. Both Adray and Lasselle leapt about a foot into the air, looking around in a panic stricken state to find out what had done it.

There weren't any fiends or monsters about. Woltar wasn't anywhere in sight, and they were pretty sure King Arzie was still back at his own castle, doing those king things he does. To no avail did they find the cause of the roaring sound, and turned to each other, eyebrows raised and faces puzzled. Adray looked as if he was about to mutter something, when the sound happened again, and both faces turned to look at the Queen, hoping for some assistance.

What they saw though, made Lasselle pale instantly, and Adray burst out laughing. It was such a ghastly, un-queen thing to do, but still Romeria was here doing it. After the loud, thunderous belch had ended, she turned a satisfied face to the two men beside her. "Boys, don't ever try to compete with me. I'll crush your feeble attempts," she muttered, turning back to stare at the two large doors.

After a while Adray left laughing, his fist banging into the numerous pillars to help control himself. However, in doing so a few of them cracked and one completely toppled over, some of the roof it was supporting caving in. But once he had gone completely, Lasselle turned to his Queen. "My Queen, why did you let your, uh, graceful etiquette be destroyed by that?" The question had been nagging at him since he'd witnessed her do it, and he needed an answer, even if it mentally killed him and made him lose all respect for his Romeria.

"Lasselle, I'll be plain and honest with you. Even Queens like to let themselves go sometimes, and I happened to have had a big lunch," she replied, getting up off the throne and heading down the stairs, gliding gracefully across the marble tiles. She left the room without another word, also leaving Lasselle to ponder over her words carefully. Maybe his visions of the Queen being like a swan were wrong; because he was pretty sure swans don't belch like that. Or do they?…

Somewhere out in the Aquios lake sat a group of swans, all looking majestic while they waded across the surface of the glistening water. However, you know the drill. All good things must come to an end, and from Lasselle's comparison of Queen Romeria to a swan and then the queen's capable of more than she makes out to be. Well, the swans are just a bird form of our beloved Queen…

END?…

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**Corad: Well, that was highly pointless lol. Bijoux and I have some weird obsession over Lasselle. Maybe it's a curse...if you enjoyed this story, please review. If you hated it, please review. If you thought it was too idiotic for this fandom, and tell us to bugger off back to Jak and Daxter, then that'll be fine too. Or, if you want another update, then we could do that. We could create one shot idiocies with different ppl lol. But yeah, thanks for reading. Hope ya enjoyed it! Toodles!**


	2. Roommates

**Bijoux: We decided to continue this for you Some Dudes Friend, Some Dude and ThrogmortenMimic, and to anyone else who read the last chapter but didn't review. Uh...yeah...there's some more Lasselle bashing in this...so me and Corad decided that would attract Adray fangirls...if there are any...(room falls silent)...uh...anyways...the title of this story kinda has nothing to do with the ending...but if we post another chapter it'll continue on from the beginning idea. **

**Corad also says that if anyone wants to see some Lasselle art then go to our homepage and there should be three pictures on there...unless Corad get's reported for one of them before you get there...**

**We don't own Star Ocean...or one of the ideas we got off the Simpsons...you'll find that twice in this story somewhere along the lines. Sorry for any character bashing...and yes this chapter has mentionings of Fayt and co. **

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**Roommates**

The scenario was peaceful. Queen Romeria appeared, dancing gracefully amongst a small flock of swans, which too appeared to be dancing gracefully.

It was such a peaceful, alluring sight to be hold, just like the anime section of the video store…oh god how I love it…so many DVD's…so little time…uh…anyways…

Peaceful piano music played in the background as the Queen continued to majestically dance around what appeared to be a sparkling lake in the dead of night…it reminded many of swan lake.

However, the peacefulness shattered, when loud thumping noises began to echo around the forest area and the lake. And the bounding was soon given an owner, when in rolled Adray, dancing like a klutzy ballerina, in a bright pink tutu.

The large, unattractive figure shoved the Queen out of the picture, and began to make even louder noises as he did so.

That was when the bedraggled magistrate awoke…to find his entire room shaking…

"What the crp…?" he mumbled to himself, sitting upright in his bed, as the wall separating his room from Clair's began to shake even more violently than the rest of his room.

Before anyone, who wasn't even in the room, could answer the Magistrate's question, a brick on the wall between he and Clair's room began to crack, and shatter before it became total nothingness.

The problem was a mystery…well…to Lasselle anyway…but it was soon revealed to what it really was, when Lasselle spotted Adray, waving at him through the hole he had just created.

"What are you doing you lummox…?" Lasselle groaned as Adray disappeared from view again.

"Oh…I'm putting up my graduation certificate…or should I say certificates…?" Adray laughed to himself, as he moved further along the wall, placing a framed certificate against it, before he pulled out a blunt looking nail, and began to try and hammer it into the wall.

Now, the thing about the 'certificates' get's to be explained as the certificate Adray is nailing into the brick wall comes into clear view, revealing the fact that Adray has stolen Lasselle's graduation certificate and crossed out the Magistrate's name, writing his own above it.

Lasselle groaned as he lay back down, on his bed, rolling onto his side so that he was facing the wall, trying to block Adray's banging out of his head, as yet another brick gave way.

Why the moron was trying to nail something into a brick, especially with blunt nails, the Magistrate did not know, but he wished he had stopped Adray when he had the chance, because within the next 5 minutes or so, the wall separating Lasselle and Clair's room was no more, than a pile of dust, in the center, of the now 1 big room.

"Uh-oh…" Adray stated. It was a good thing Clair had taken haven in Nel's room for the night, when Adray had awoken her with his nailing…because now Clair would have to be a roommate with the Magistrate.

"YOU IDIOT!" Lasselle roared as he sat upright in his bed again, glaring at the larger man, who seemed to stare back with a look of dumbfounded innocence.

"Uh…um…ROOMMATES!" Adray roared, throwing his arms and the hammer into the air, screaming like a little girl and ducking when the hammer came back down to the ground.

"Oh dear Apris no…" Lasselle groaned, his face contorted with unhappiness, as he stared at Adray, who stared back, still dumbfounded. Silence entered the room for about 3 minutes before…

"ROOMMATES!" Adray once again screamed throwing his arms in the air. And as the night continued on, there was one thing known…Clair definitely wouldn't want her room back now…

(The next morning)

Magistrate Lasselle's face was contorted with some kind of hysterical aurora, as he slumped his way through the castle of Aquaria, towards the throne room, where he was to stand and do nothing alongside the queen.

"Stupid Adray and his stupidity of stupid-ness…" the Grinchy Magistrate muttered as he slumped further along, reaching the stairs leading to the second level of the castle, still with a distraught face.

By the looks of things, Lasselle had not had an easy sleep last night. And due to even more research, it seemed that sir Adray, who had been continuously screaming 'ROOMMATES', had indeed kept up Lasselle all night.

The one person Lasselle felt sorry for, other than himself, was Clair, who had been forced into another room, thanks to Adray's stupidity and his killing of the wall separating her room from the Magistrate's…

So now he was "roommates"…"roommates" with Adray Lasbard…

Lasselle continued to grumble to himself as he dragged his feet around the corner into the hallway container the entrance to the throne room. Before Lasselle had reached the entrance to the Queen's throne room, he heard beautiful singing, just like that of a choir lady, in the form of a peaceful opera.

The Magistrate stopped dead in his tracks and stayed out of sight from the throne room's doorway, listening to what he had decided was the queen singing.

"Oh my queen…what a beautiful singing voice you have…it's too late now…you've already drawn me in with your beautiful voice…" Lasselle rambled to himself, going into some kind of trance, as he slumped up the door. He seemed to forget all his worries at the sound of the singing, but as the Magistrate briskly turned the small corner, entering the throne room, all his worries came back, hitting him harder than anything ever could have hit him in the world, including a three if not four person couch, complete with Duke Vox and a large selection of fatty foods and alcoholic beverages sitting on it getting shot out of a canon straight into the Magistrates gut.

No, nothing could compare to the panic, the abhorrence and disturbance that was chucked at the Magistrate, as Adray, in a singing composer met Lasselle's eyesight.

How the older man had beat Lasselle to the throne room, when Lasselle had left the room when Adray was still sleeping, and when Lasselle had taken the shortest route from his room to the throne room, was unknown, and the even more confusing thing about the whole theme, was the fact that Adray had never passed Lasselle at any stage, so it seemed that nothing made sense anymore, as Lasselle broke down into a crying mess on the floor.

The Queen, who was sitting in her throne next to the singing Adray, with her uninterested face, rolled her eyes at the sheer sight of her Magistrate, wallowing in his own 'filth' on the floor, erratically screaming that there was no 'God'.

"Lasselle…the floor has just, in recent times, been polished…please do not disturb its cleanliness with your pity…" Romeria stated in her mystic tone, slightly glaring at the Magistrate, though still keeping most of her bored composure visible.

Adray finished his singing with one disturbingly loud note, which seemed to go on for so long, that Lasselle had to temporarily stumble out the room, so that his eardrums would not burst from the screeching impact.

"Lovely singing Adray…" Romeria declared in a calm tone, pulling the earplugs out of her ears that must have been there since Adray had even come to the throne room.

"Thank you…" Adray said in the manner of a small child's as he turned to the approaching Magistrate, and poked his tongue out at him. Lasselle gave Adray a dirty look, which would make any normal Fayt collapse on the ground screaming…WHICH IT DID!

Shows Fayt wondering around the main street of Peterny with Cliff, Sophia, Maria and Mirage. The group of heroes and heroines were happily chatting as they walked…until Fayt suddenly fell to the floor screaming for mercy, no one really knew what to do…so everyone but Sophia left, talking in loud voices that everyone in the town was supposed to hear, saying things like "Gee, I hope that guy is okay, I'm happy he's not my loved one", and "Wonder what happened to that random guy with blue hair over there", yes the whole town heard Cliff's screaming voice as he ushered his two lady friends away, trying to make it seem like everything was normal and natural for the three of them…though he was screaming his head of in a manner that sounded as if he was reading from a script.

Back at the Castle…in the time space of about 3 minutes or so, Adray had managed to drag Lasselle out the throne room, and out into the courtyard and to a flag pole, where he had succeeded in replacing the Kingdom of Aquaria's national flag, and replaced it with the Kingdom of Aquaria's Magistrate, dangling from the top of the pole by his underpants, while he screamed for mercy.

"Sorry Lasselle, I can't hear you up there!" Adray bellowed up at the scrawny man, dangling for dear life as he swung helplessly about in the air.

Lasselle became a notch angrier, and another notch more spiteful at these words. You see people, this is another reason why that guy is such a grouch…first it was the kids in his preschool calling him a fridge-radiator, then it was the girls in primary school, beating him up and taking his lunch money, and giving him daily, if not hourly, if not minutely, IF NOT SECONDLY wedgies, and then it was the boys in his high school gym class, calling him a girly man, and making fun of his bookworm attitude and appearance……and **_'other'_** reasons……such as the fact that they all had some '_fanatical'_ idea that he liked the Queen…or was she the princess at that time…maybe even the 'prince'…? Well either way, there was one thing for sure, Romeria had never been the Duke Vox of Aquaria…that was Nel's job…(shows Nel with a glaring face towards the writer of this cr-p)…

(Corad: Can you get back to the story please…?)…_Story_…? THIS IS A STORY!…I thought it was the McDonalds drive through line…(room falls silent)…uh…anyways…

And so there Lasselle hung by his underpants. The only thing that he could be happy about, was the fact that only Adray had seen him in this embarrassing situation, and some bribery infused with a bit of blackmail would be able to get the ape like man away from the idea of telling people, _in particular_ the queen about such topics, as her Magistrate receiving a flagpole wedgie.

The topic of which could arise many problems in the whole kingdom, followed by another war over something stupider this time, between Airyglyph and Aquaria. It was something that could not get out. It was something that should not get out. It was a topic that WOULD get out.

"Father…what have you done…?" Clair asked as she approached the flagpole, after hearing screams from the top story of the castle, coming from outside somewhere, the warrior woman decided it was Adray's doing, and had to come investigate just to be sure he hadn't killed the Magistrate.

She quite liked her father, though she hated him, and would prefer it if he wasn't turned into a fried meal when the Queen came after him to avenge her fallen, and 'wedgiefied' Magistrate.

"Look sweetie, we can stand here, scratching our asses and wondering who drank who's beer, but in the end, I think we'll all discover that the council has already picked up your old settee from the curve…" Clair's eyes went into bored looking slits as she took in the stupidity of her fathers words.

"Father…shut up and get him down…" Clair stated in a commanding voice, which would have made any ape-man, fridge raiding, hippie wagon faint, whilst screaming into a can of beer they were trying to drink out of at the same time.

(Shows Duke Vox falling to the floor screaming into a can of beer, right in front of his king, or nephew…whichever one you want…)

"Prrrp…how bout you make me Clair…?" Adray hissed in a stubborn tone, crossing his arms and glaring at his daughter.

"Clair…? What's going on out here…? Is someone dying…?" Nel's voice entered the courtyard, and Clair turned to face her friend.

"Well…my father has given the Magistrate another one of his flagpole wedgies…" Clair stated pointed up at the in pain Magistrate, who had shut up by now, and was waiting patiently for someone to set him free of the torture based…uh…torture…

"It's okay…I'll get him down…" Nel said in a calm tone as she advanced on the flagpole. It was soon discovered that Adray had somehow intertwined the flagpole's rope through Lasselle's clothes, so it would be a harder task than expected to get the official down. And on top of that problem, Adray had completely destroyed the leaver to get him down as well…

"Are you sure you can save him on your own…? I can go get the queen…or Elena-"

Clair was cut off by the Magistrate, who began screaming in fear filled protest, that neither one of those two women would let him live this down.

Nel sighed, nodding to her friend, indicating that she would be fine, before she set off towards the flagpole, climbing it steadily, to the top, where she began trying to get the Magistrate down.

Lasselle's underpants were too tightly pulled over the pole for Nel to get off, and she began to wonder how Adray had done his handy work, as she found a way to lower the Magistrate on the rope, who might I add was looking rather shameful about this whole ordeal.

Nel got the man halfway down the pole, when Adray walked towards it, shoving Clair out the way.

"Prrp, you're doing it the sissy way Zelpher!" Adray boomed as he came up to the pole, grasping Lasselle's left ankle in his meaty hand, before yanking him at such a force, which probably could have ripped Woltar's 110-year-old beard completely off his 110-year-old face.

"ADRAY NOOO!"

"FATHER NOOO!"

The two women screamed, but it was already too late, as an earpeircing scream echoed around the city, followed by an almighty ripping noise, followed by a crashing noise.

And so the Magistrate crawled to his shaking feet, and stumbled towards the door to the castle, tears forming in his eyes, as he shook.

"See…he's alright…" Adray stated to the two frowning warriors, before the court yard fell into an awkward silence, in which there was an up close shot of the Magistrate's underpants, blowing majestically in the wind from the top of the flagpole.

The Magistrate stumbled into the throne room, a pure look of agony on his face. This attracted the queen's attention, and she frowned, staring at her advisor as if Christmas had been given up for lost.

"Are you okay…?" Romeria asked as the Magistrate staggered past her throne.

"Yes…" Lasselle stated, in a whispery voice, which sounded suspiciously like the '_late' _Shou Tucker off Fullmetal Alchemist.

"Are you sure nothing's wrong with you…?" Romeria asked again, this time giving him a stern but uninterested face.

"No…nothings wrong with me…err…I have to be excused now…" Lasselle stated in his new tone, the look of pain still on his face, as his eye twitched slightly.

"Okay…" Romeria muttered as her Magistrate stooped his way out the door, at the other end of the room.

The throne room fell silent after that. The queen never did find out about what had really happened to Lasselle…but she got the idea when one of her subjects came to her with a pair of ripped underpants, on the end of a pool skimmer, which was attached to another pool skimmer, which then created some horrid creation of a pool skimmer that stretched from the throne room door, up to the throne.

The old plumpish mother had trouble controlling the creation and the Queen was hit in the head with it a couple of times, during the awkward silence that amounted. But all questions were partly answered when the Magistrate did a guilty eye, before he grabbed the underpants and fled to the court yard when another scream erupted soon after…the Queen guessed it had something to do with the fact the Adray had been out there for the past hour, talking to his pet mushrooms.

And after that day…nothing stupid ever happened in the castle of Aquaria again…well…except for that one time…when the king of Airyglyph came to visit Elena…you see, he heard singing in the hallways along his wanderings to find her…it was beautiful music…much like a choir or opera lady…

"Oh Elena…what a majestic voice you have…" Arzie stated as he reached Elena's office, the singing was louder here, so he had figured that it must be her…but when the young, would be attractive, king of the zoo…er…I mean Airyglyph opened the door, he found no singing Elena…but a singing Adray…

The End…?

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**Bijoux: Okay...hope you like it...if you have time please review...and yeah...you should also check out those pictures...if you're a lazy (beep) and have too much time like me...but uh...I warn you of the 'It Burns' one...god that one's scary...unless it's just me...(nervous eye)...uh...yeah...**


	3. The Magical Cycle of Rage

**Corad: Howdy to anyone who's reading this! I wrote this a while back, and only now realised I hadn't put it up...maybe coz it's not a major fic like the others I'm writing. Oh well...thankyou to ThrogmortenMimic for your nice review too! We're both glad you liked the last chapter. Bijoux is just full of random insanity lol. I kinda envy her sometimes...anyhow, hopefully my next attempt right here will be ok. It may not be as funny, but I try! Also, the Jackhammer idea belongs to Bijoux. She was the crazy one to think it up...I just wrote about it...somehow...uh, please enjoy this chapter!**

**We don't own and never will own Star Ocean, Lasselle, Adray, Queenie or Dion...but I own the random dude who stars in here for a few seconds! Although, that's probably nothing to be proud of...(room falls into uneasy silence of uneasiness)

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****The Magical Cycle of Rage**

It had been another backbreaking, tiring day for the Magistrate, standing beside the Queen in her throne. He'd often wished that he could just stay in his room and relax, but the thought of Adray as his roommate kept nagging his mind throughout the day. But now that guarding the queen was officially over for the day, he made his tired and sorry way back to his once renowned "haven". As he approached his bedroom door, his hand faltered on the doorknob. Did he really want to go inside? What if Adray was there, invading his personal space again? The magistrate was stuck wondering what to do, when Dion suddenly passed him, gliding down the hall.

"Magistrate Lasselle," he greeted, nodding his head towards the Magistrate. Lasselle merely grunted, before pressing his ear against the door. If Adray was inside, surely that old man would be making a racket, no? He was known for such tribulations, so why not now? But our Magistrate discovered no noise emitting from the room, so he figured the old Man wasn't around. He gained some courage and pushed the door open, but dropped dead in his tracks, eyes wide open in horror.

"Ah Lasselle. You're back I see," Adray boomed, turning around to face the magistrate, waving at him. Lasselle's eyes traveled from Adray's dirty apron, to the painting roll in his right hand, a can of pink paint in his left, and finally to the walls.

"What have you done?" Lasselle cried, staring in shock at the bright pink walls around him. Adray began laughing cheerfully, stepping off the small stepladder and wandering up to his new roommate.

"Painting Lasselle. What does it look like? Your old grey walls were boring. Boring enough to kill a man like me with boredom. Now that we have funky pink walls, we can…"

"You idiot! I don't like pink!"

"Then why are you wearing pink robes?"

"They're purple! It's a dress code! The queen will have my ass if I turn up without wearing it!" Lasselle shouted, the lack of sleep finally getting to him. Not only had Adray knocked down the wall separating his and Clair's room, he had officially moved in. All the magistrate's belongings had been moved around, his furniture rearranged accordingly to Adray's fancy, and on top of that Clair had been kicked out of her own room.

"Come on man, chill out. I'm sure you don't mind if the queen has your…"

"Shut it! Shut it now! I do not need to hear this. I'm blocking you out right now!" Lasselle groaned, placing his palms over his ears and striding over to his bed. He collapsed onto his mattress, lowering his head to his knees, muttering things to himself. Adray began to get bored again, and moved to continue painting the walls pink. He only had one bit of space to color, and that happened to be beside Lasselle's bed. So, the older man shoved his way onto the bed, and began painting. Large drops of pink paint ran down the wall, dripping into Lasselle quilt and staining it for years to come.

"Lasselle, you have attitude problems. First you're a suck up, then you're a grouch, and then you're finally a suck up? What's your deal?" Adray asked blankly, dipping his paint roller into the can and placing it against the wall where he pulled it down, creating a thick line of pink. Lasselle gritted his teeth, lowering his hands away from his ears as he looked up.

"What's my deal? WHAT'S MY DEAL! You barge in here, thinking you own the place, you paint my walls pink, and you claim I have an obsession with the Queen which I obviously don't!" Lasselle shouted, face turning a nice shade of red. Adray rolled his eyes, turning around to look down at his roommate.

"You have an obsession with the queen, and I think you feel threatened coz I'm around!" Adray hit a sore spot, making the magistrate shout louder than he had ever shouted before. Spit flew from his mouth, a finger pointing at Adray and finally to the door, while his flushed face turned even flusher… dude, is that even a word?

Adray got the hint, and stuck his nose in the air, stepping off the magistrate's bed and strutting past the fuming man, on his way tipping the entire can on his head. Pink paint dripped throughout Lasselle's hair, which then ran down his robes and puddled at his feet on the floor. It was a horrid sight with the can sitting over the man's head, watching his body shake violently in rage. Before the Magistrate had time to seek revenge, the older man had left the room, leaving the place in a mess infatuated disaster.

Of course we all know Lasselle needs anger management classes, but after a man like Adray invades ya space, you can't blame him for being mad. So, the mad magistrate strode out his room a short while later, leaving pink tracks behind down the hall as he made his way swiftly to the Runologist study room. He wanted to find the most experienced runologist the castle had to offer, to fix that damn wall that idiot had destroyed. It was his only option to recover his lost room.

"Mr Lasselle sir, what brings you here?" a scrawny young man asked from the desk he was working at. He looked slightly scared as the magistrate stormed in, still dripping pink paint of love around. The young runologist apprentice was beginning to wonder what had actually happened, when Dion came in, carrying a stack of books. At the sight of Lasselle's leering face and fisted hands shaking beside his thighs, Dion gave out a squeak of fright, dropping the books to the ground.

"Um, Magistrate Lasselle. Heh, what…why are you…do you need something?" Dion kept stumbling for words, eyes darting around nervously. Lasselle began to relax himself, realizing that his savior had been under his nose the whole time.

"Ah Dion. I would like your assistance with a certain, uh…problem," Lasselle informed casually, walking past Dion and leading him out the room and down the hall. They soon arrived at the magistrate's room, and when they stepped inside, Dion gasped loudly.

"Sir, what happened here? I didn't know you were into painting," he murmured, casting his gaze around the pink covered walls before looking at Magistrate Lasselle, also covered in pink.

"No, not the painting wall thing. That," Lasselle informed, pointing to the space where a wall should have been. Dion didn't quite understand what he was needed for, and began to question his existence in the room.

"Mr Lasselle, what do you want me to do? I don't see anything."

"Exactly Dion. And do you know why? Because that lumbering _fool_ knocked it down! I need that wall to keep me sane! Fix it!" Lasselle shouted, his face beginning to get flustered again. Dion inched a few steps away from his fuming colleague, and took a quick glance at the remains of the wall, piled up on either sides of the room. He figured the magistrate had dragged him away from more important work to get this wall fixed, so got to work, laying bricks across the floor roughly where the wall had been.

Lasselle stood, face grinning brightly as the smaller man worked quickly. After the wall had been roughly rearranged, Dion stood back, lifting his hands up and muttering stuff under his breath. Blue flames shot out the man's hands and twisted around the stone bricks, merging them together again forming the wall. The sight was so beautiful to Lasselle. His Haven had been resurrected at last.

"Thank you Dion…now get out," the magistrate growled, his face blank and arm outstretched to the door. Dion sighed in reply, and walked out to finish off his own work. But somewhere, deep in the castle, are living some old men. They are Lasselle's past nightmare, and maybe, maybe they are, his future nightmares? (Bijoux: This isn't Deep Forest!) In the library, sat huddled around a table, were Adray, Ansala and Woltar, all concocting devious plans to throw the queen….. an anniversary party. Yes, it was such a horrible sight, three old men crowded around a small table, pretending to read when in fact they were talking loudly enough for the entire library to hear. But three men planning a party is no fun, so back to Lasselle…who also isn't much fun.

"They thought they could beat me, but I know their secrets. The queen must take me for a fool if she thinks I'll worship that great oaf Adrain, because he is nothing but trash material, waiting to be tossed out…and I'll do it…I'LL DO IT! EH HEHEHEHEH!" Lasselle screamed, finally losing all those years spent acting civil and well behaved. He tossed his head back, his loud insane laughs echoing around the quiet dark room.

"Will you can it! Some of us are trying to sleep!" a female voice shouted, while banging on Lasselle's door. The magistrate's left eye began twitching; his laughing calming down to quiet giggles before screaming some more.

"You dare disrupt a magistrate's court of justice, Zelpher! I own you!" Nel rolled her eyes outside the door, wondering who or what had upset Lasselle this much to make him go mad. She had an inkling it had been Adray, since he completely took over Clair's room and fused both rooms together. Maybe he was behind it all. Shrugging off the insane laughter of the magistrate, Nel left and wandered back to her own room, wishing upon a miracle that something would just shut him up. Anything…

Back inside Lasselle's room, things appeared to be getting worse. Not only was he laughing uncontrollably about how the world had betrayed him and sent Adray up from hell, but also his head was now banging on the closest wall. The vibrations sent with each impact made a painting hanging above him slide off the hook, and was sent flying into his skull. Lights went out for our dear old Magistrate. Maybe that was a good thing…

"Uh, where am I? A…A ballroom? How absurd? But how did I end up here, and who…my Queen!" Lasselle snapped to attention at the sight of Romeria wandering past in a golden gown. She passed him without any acknowledgment the he was even there, and began spinning around in a form of dance. Her long dress twirling around as she glided everywhere, graceful and hypnotic. It was such a magnificent sight. One that Lasselle wished would never end, but then…he _heard_ it. Constant heavy tapping on the polished wooden floor. It was such a terrible, mind splitting noise that Lasselle recoiled at the mere sight of the peace disrupter. Yes, it came in, dancing in some fast, highland based dance, its hairy head grinning stupidly.

"This seems familiar to me…where have I seen this before? Ah yes, that Beauty and the Beast film…so the queen's obviously Belle, but who is Beast?" Lasselle squinted his eyes to try and focus on the fast moving beast before him, his minding beginning to crack from all the noise. He managed to grasp a glance of a grey beard and a dragon tattoo on it's back. That could only be on person. "NNOOOOOOOO! Curse you Adray! Curse YOU!" he screamed, collapsing on the ballroom floor, just as Adray the Beast came closer yet, his highland based tap dancing frenzy getting louder and louder, before it sent the magistrate's mind spinning.

"GET THROUGH YOU DAMN THING!" Lasselle slid open his eyes, his surroundings falling back into place. He lay sprawled across his bed, a painting beside him with a huge hole in the middle. But the painting was only a minor problem compared to who and what was in his room.

"ADRAY? What are you doing!" Lasselle shouted, sitting up abruptly and staring at Adray, who held a jackhammer in his hands, pushing it further into the wall separating the two rooms. By the looks of things, the man was trying to break down the wall again.

"Well Lasselle, I came back to get some sleep, and discovered that somebody had put a wall in our room! So, being the good citizen that I am, decided to get rid of it," Adray answered back, pushing the jackhammer against the stone. The loud noise of the motor mixed with metal constantly hitting stone was beginning to give the magistrate a headache, but that was nothing compared to what happened next.

As Adray, feeling he was beginning to get successful with breaking the wall down, lost control of his jackhammer. It began violently moving along the walls, heading straight for the china cabinet filled with special plates and teacups. The wailing scream from Lasselle could have woken anybody up, but luckily it didn't. However, that wasn't the end of the jackhammer's adventure, and was soon seen heading towards the magistrate's bed, Adray still holding onto the handle trying to control it. Lasselle leapt off his bed just in time, army roll along the floor and glancing up to see the hammer completely destroy his bed.

But no, still it hadn't finished its dastardly deed. The tea set was next. Ear piercing cracks and shatters could be heard, on top of ear piercing screams. As Adray finally regained control of the jackhammer and turned it off, Lasselle sat crumpled on the floor, shaking in misery at the sight of a teapot chunk, lying just beside him. The only word he could utter in a calm tone was "why?' before his raging fit of screams began again.

"YOU IDIOT! That tea set had been passed down through my family generations, and that china cabinet held the most prized crockery and cutlery in the whole of Gaitt! You imbecile, you ruined my bed too! GET OUT!" he cried, watching through anger stricken eyes as Adray inched his way out the door, holding the jackhammer as he went along. When Adray had "gone", Lasselle picked himself up off the floor, grabbing hold of his pillow and sheets, before leaving the remains of his room. He was then seen making his way to the throne room, where he set up his "bed" on the floor beside the throne. At least he'd be somewhat safer near the Queen. Adray wouldn't dare invade his space so close to the Queen…or would he?

* * *

**Lasselle: I hate you -.-'  
Corad: Why?  
Lasselle: You make me seem like an insane maniac fused with a control freak.  
Corad: And? I thought you were like that already...  
Lasselle: N-no! How dare you say such things! I am the Queen!  
Romeria: (Appears outta nowhere) No Lasselle, I am the Queen...you are my foot stool.  
Lasselle: (Grumbling under breath)  
Corad: Better get to foot stooling Lasselle. Don't wanna make the Queen angry (starts nudging him in the side before he gets down on hands and knees for Romeria's stool) Ah yes...the idiocy...how I love it...now, if anyone actually bothers to read this...then thankyou! It's revolving around the "boring" characters right now, but you can bet Cliff, Fayt, Albel, Sophia, Nel (again), errr...Roger...um, Fayt's twin  
Maria: I'm not Fayt's twin!  
Corad: Who said I was talking about you? I believe I was talking about Woltar (pats old man Woltar on shoulder all friendly like) Point is, if you keep reading, others will be staring somewhere along the lines. Until next time, toodles!**


End file.
